I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
