so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize