No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
