I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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