I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
