lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
