Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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