They should really pass out barf bags in church
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
