You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
