I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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