Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
