Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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