Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize