Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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