never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
