I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize