This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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