she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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