sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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