How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
