We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
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