When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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