grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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