Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
