Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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