a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
