My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
