Got a toothbrush?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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