I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
