I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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