her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
