also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Found your dick twin last night
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
