I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
