I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
