Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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