my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
