Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
