it wasn't lemon gatorade
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
