I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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