dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
