Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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