i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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