butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
