In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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