where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
