I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
