i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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