You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
