Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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