just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I don't think brook has ever known best
he shaved USA in his pubs
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
