i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You're so nebulous sometimes
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
