is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
no you cant smoke seaweed
vagina is talking i cant
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
