Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
too bad you live with your parents still
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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