Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Never joke about your clitoris.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
