yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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