He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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