we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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