Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize