In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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